Ghosting Dictionary

YOUR GUIDE TO ALL THINGS GHOSTING

 

The Ghost: Somebody who ends a personal relationship suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

The Ghostee: A person who has been ghosted.

The Silent Treatment: this is used interchangeably with ghosting - it's the same thing.

 

GHOSTING IS NOT:

  • Setting Boundaries: If you are in a relationship and somebody states clear boundaries, for example, if they say, "this relationship is over - please don't contact me." and then they begin to ignore you - that's NOT ghosting. That's setting a boundary and honoring it.

  • No Contact: If you leave an abusive relationship without a Goodbye - that's self-respect. Protecting yourself is NOT ghosting.

 

The Ghosting Spectrum:

  • Micro-Ghost: When a person dissappears on a dating app or doesn't show on a first date

  • Sex-Ghost: When someone ghosts except when they are looking for sex. They will be in constant communication with you, up until the hookup, then you hear absolutely nothing from them until they are looking for another hookup, about every 4-6 weeks or so. And then it starts all over.

  • Dating Ghost: When somebody you are dating ghosts you.

  • WTF Ghost: When somebody you are married to or in long-term relationship ghosts you.

 

Ghosting Behavior Terms

  • Love Bombing: This is when somebody overwhelms you with signs of adoration and attraction; it could be tons of compliments or extravagant gifts. These large gestures of romance are designed to manipulate you to spend all your time with the love bomber and less time alone or with other people.

  • Narcissism/Narcissist: A personality disorder that can range on a spectrum. A narcissist has an inflated sense of importance and requires excessive attention and admiration. Many ghosters are narcissists. Beware of the narcissist abuse cycle – love bombing, followed by ghosting, in a cyclical pattern.

  • Gaslighting: Often associated with narcissistic behavior. Denial of the ghosting, accusing you of being "crazy", altering the facts of what actually happened.

  • Orbiting: This is when your ghost still watches your stories or engages with you on social media.

  • Haunting: This is when your ghost randomly comes back into your life with a text out of the blue or an Instagram DM.

Ghost-Like Behavior Terms

  • Benching: When you put a person on a "back burner" or a "bench" just in case you want to pick up and start dating them again

  • Breadcrumbing: Breadcrumbing is essentially leading someone on, with no intention of following through. Every few days, the person may reach out with a text that says "hi" or a like on social media, but it doesn't go deeper than that.

  • Caspering: Leading somebody on with no intention of following through. People do this when they don't want to ghost.

Attachment Style Terms

  • Secure: People with secure attachment style are low in avoidance and anxiety. As you can guess from the name, this type of style leads to the healthiest relationships. It's estimated that about 50% of the population has a secure attachment style.

  • Anxious: This type of person is high in anxiety and may be high or low on avoidance, based on their specific type. These types of relationships can sometimes be higher drama and lower in trust.

  • Avoidant: This type is low in anxiety and high in avoidance. Interestingly, there are more avoidance in the dating pool as they often don't have long-lasting relationships.

 

 

Find More Info on Attachment Styles: Check out the book Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller.