Healing from betrayal—whether it’s infidelity, ghosting, catfishing, or any other type of broken trust—is a complex and deeply personal journey. Many people turn to traditional therapy or self-help to resolve their pain, yet some find themselves lingering in the same emotional cycle, unable to move forward.
This raises an important question: What’s the best way to heal from betrayal? Is therapy enough, or is there room for coaching as well? Both can play a valuable role, but they serve different purposes in the healing process.
Why is Betrayal Trauma Different?*
Betrayal isn’t just another life challenge—it cuts deeper. It's a violation of trust by someone in your life—a date, lover, family member, friend, or colleague. The pain of betrayal creates an ambiguous loss and can leave you questioning everything. Was the relationship real? Did they ever care? How long had this deception been going on for? There is a mourning of the person, the past, and the envisioned future.
Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT® (Post-Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, researched betrayal extensively and discovered that betrayal trauma is unlike the trauma that can result from a death, illness, or disaster. After these challenging events, people grieve and mourn, however, these events don't feel as personal as betrayal. Betrayal shakes one's sense of trust, worth, and belonging and requires a complete rebuilding of the self.
This kind of trauma can lead to Post Betrayal Syndrome™ or the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms of betrayal. Dr. Debi coined this term, and she found that symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome™ vary and can include the following:
A sense of rejection
Anxiety
Anger and resentment
Self-doubt and shame
Trust issues in yourself and others
Chronic illness, headaches, digestive problems, sleep difficulties, and other physical ailments
Dr. Debi discovered that Post Betrayal Syndrome™ cannot be healed simply with time or by entering a new relationship. Through her PhD research she developed a holistic, proven, and strategic roadmap to help individuals fully recover from betrayal.
Healing After Betrayal; Dr. Debi Silber's Proven and Predictable Roadmap*
Dr. Debi's research led her to discover Post-Betrayal Transformation®, or PBT®, which is the intentional rebuilding of the self after betrayal, where "rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, all have to be rebuilt."* Her studies revealed that healing from betrayal follows a specific and predictable process. Using this research, she created a proven method that moves people through five stages of healing from betrayal to breakthrough.
The 5 Stages of Healing After Betrayal**
Healing from betrayal trauma happens in stages. Here's a summary of the stages that Dr. Debi discovered:
Stage 1: The Setup Stage – Prioritizing the physical and mental over emotional and spiritual well-being.
Stage 2: Shock/D-Day – The body, mind, and worldview are shattered.
Stage 3: Survival Instincts Emerge – You’re functioning, but you feel stuck in anger, resentment, and sadness. (Most people remain in this stage indefinitely, as anger, sadness, and fear prevent them from moving forward)
Stage 4: Finding and Adjusting to a New Normal – A shift begins; new possibilities emerge.
Stage 5: Healing, Rebirth, and a New Worldview – You become your stronger, wiser, and thriving self.
Dr. Debi and her Certified PBT® Coaches have helped thousands of people successfully move through these stages instead of getting trapped in the pain of betrayal.
Therapy for Healing Betrayal Trauma***
Therapy is a powerful and helpful tool for emotional healing. However, when it comes to betrayal trauma, traditional therapy can fall short:
Therapy may help clients manage anxiety, depression, or trust issues, but it doesn’t always address the specific emotional and physical impact of betrayal itself.
Without a structured, proven process, healing from betrayal can feel overwhelming and people may stay stuck. Clients may spend years retelling the story that keeps them in the same place without experiencing measurable progress.
Betrayal affects people on multiple levels—mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and spiritually. Therapy typically only addresses the mental aspects of betrayal.
While an excellent therapist can be a powerful ally, if they aren’t highly experienced in betrayal trauma, clients may find themselves reliving their pain rather than moving forward.
Therapy vs. Coping With Ghosting Coaching: What’s the Difference?
What Therapy Offers
A confidential, safe space to talk through emotions
Help with mental health symptoms like depression and anxiety
An opportunity to process and make meaning of betrayal
Emotional validation and support
There are different modalities of therapy, and experiences will vary. This is a general list; please check with your therapist to learn what they offer and how they can best support your healing journey.
What Coping With Ghosting Coaching Offers
Gretta Perlmutter, MA, is a Certified PBT® Coach and the founder of Coping With Ghosting. She offers high-value, 1:1 coaching, helping individuals transform personal betrayal into a catalyst for powerful growth. Using the research-backed PBT® framework, Gretta empowers her clients to heal, regain confidence, and move forward with clarity and strength. Gretta's personal experiences with healing after betrayal and her compassionate nature allow her to empathize with clients deeply.
What to Expect From Coping With Ghosting Coaching
Personalized guidance to move clients through the five stages of healing betrayal
A focus on the whole person—addressing the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual recovery
A research-backed proven path toward rebuilding trust, confidence, and self-worth
A clear direction on how or if to reunite with the person who betrayed you
Why Coaching Complements Therapy
Many assume, “I already have a therapist—I don’t need coaching.” Therapy and coaching serve different roles. Therapy generally helps with the mental aspects, while coaching provides a clear path to healing and transformation mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The best approach may include a combination of therapy and coaching.
Coping With Ghosting Coaching can help clients hold onto and implement what they are working on in therapy, and it can be an additional resource during off hours. Every coaching session moves clients one step forward toward total healing.
Finding the Right Support
If you or someone you know is struggling after being ghosted, cheated on, or betrayed, Coping With Ghosting coaching can be the missing piece. It’s not about choosing between therapy and coaching—it’s about using the right tools at the right time to ensure complete healing.
With betrayal trauma, you need a village to support your healing. Investing in yourself—your mental health and relationships—is priceless. People need people, and you set yourself up for success when you surround yourself with those who validate your experiences and hold space for your healing.
**Source: The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: Your Roadmap to Healing, by Dr. Debi Silber, https://thepbtinstitute.com/the-5-stages-from-betrayal-to-breakthrough/
***Source: A Proven and Predictable Research Backed way to Heal From Betrayal by Dr. Debi Silber, https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/proven-predictable-research-backed-way-heal-from-wbenc-certified-wbe-8ivge/
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